Vulnerability

I'm terrified of being vulnerable. Vulnerability is a key feeling, because in order for you to open up and start something new with somebody you must allow your guard to come down and sacrifice your vulnerability. I tend to bury things that bother me into a box that only few people have the key to.  Not even all of my closest friends have the key to it, and it may have an affect on certain relationships but its the way I'd rather keep things.  I hate being hurt and I'm sure everybody does but coming from a personal standpoint I'd rather bury the things that bother me and ignore them. Everybody has a past, and everybody has things in their past they may not be proud of but honestly instead of giving another person a key to reopen my box, I'd rather talk about the future. In Robby's mind today and tomorrow are the only things that matter. The past opens up issues that only I can correct, I can't look back and sit on them, because I feel to do so would be to regress.  In all honesty, I'm really unsure if this is the right way to think but it works for me, and even though this may seem unhealthy I prefer to keep it this way.  Maybe it's my pride factor. In essence I could care less what people really think about me but at the same time, I don't want a distorted image of myself that my past may project.  I'm happy with life and I've put myself in position to continue my personal happiness, there's just one thing missing......


Currently Jamming: Kendrick Lamar x Wanna be Heard