Self Reflection

Tonight I had a breakthrough.  Instead of indulging in some of my necessary daily routines I took a different route.......I allowed myself to think clearly.  For the first time in a while my mental state was naked, and when I say naked I mean free of issue, something it hadn't been in a long time. Like any other person I'm riddled with insecurities, and although my exterior comes off confident and secure I've struggled with self doubt.  The best thing you can do is take on the task at hand and remain focused on what's most important in your life at that given time.  I've had issues that have consumed my daily existence for a while that I hadn't thoroughly addressed and by refusing to address those things, I made myself somewhat stagnant. Honestly I'm so good at masking my own issues that I make myself believe that every things ok even when its not.  However, in actuality I'm not content with where I am or what's going on around me and I'm fully aware in order to make change, I have to change within.  By resorting back to things that comfort me I've hindered my own progress.  When I left for college I promised myself that I'd never come back to the place I grew up and I haven't yet fulfilled that promise.  I also promised myself that I would be different, and by being different I mean just allowing belief in my own abilities to takeover instead of overthinking situations.  I know I"m not alone when I say I tend to overthink some of the smallest of issues, and by doing that I generally get in my own way.  In essence like most people, I am my own worst enemy and by being afraid to take risks I've slowed down my metamorphosis.  The biggest mistake I've made was losing myself and consuming myself with my daily ups and downs.  As I let pressure consume me I lost the urgency to fulfill what's most important to me.  Today is the day life changes, the only person that controls that is the man in the mirror and hopefully this realization helps someone else as it did me.

Vent

A lot has been on my mind lately.  As I try to move forward and progress as a person graduating to the next stage in life (no pun intended); I have an issue.   With all issues, I have to figure out a way to attack it and basically use the beauty of solitude to put together pieces in my mind.  I've realized that honestly I'm scared to move forward, and not in the sense that I'm stuck in the same spot, but my mind is so focused on what my next move in life is that I'm forgetting to focus on the present. Its weird to admit when you're scared, because personally I have a hard time acknowledging fear,  I'm not one for displaying feelings, or letting others know what I'm fearful of, those are things I must work on with growth.  As I transition from the fantasy world of college to the real world, I'm slowly losing the comfort and stability that a college environment brings me, although you're on your own in college, its not the real world.  It's not even success after the ups and downs of these four years that I'm scared of or moving forward to a bigger stage in life.   I'm not afraid of struggling, or paying my dues in reality the only thing  I'm afraid of is not fulfilling my potential, and not living up to the personal standard that I hold for myself as a man.  The hardest thing for a person to realize is who they really are, and only you can answer that question at the end of the day.  I'm now at 21 almost 22 years old finally understanding what makes me different.   It takes years and years of experience and personal meditation to try and grasp the complexities of the person in the mirror.   You have to be honest and understand you're the only person that you have to please.  Although we all have people or vices in our lives that motivate us to be better, if you don't like what you're seeing in the mirror you cannot truly flourish.

Through my own mediation, I've understood that confidence is the main ingredient to anything.  As confidence allows you to trust in yourself and forget about uncertainty, a sense of power is ignited within oneself.  With uncertainty we begin to doubt our abilities, which is the most negative thing we can do to ourself.  I'm going to wrap it up and simplify what I'm trying to say. We all know our abilities and by this point in our lives many of us have experienced enough to realize what our strengths/the things we need to work on are, that's just the general process of being real with oneself.  With that sense of reality, we cannot forget that our individual being is special and in some area of life we are all made to shine, doubt is only a waste of time as we are owners of our future.

Currently Jamming:  Cut Her Off x K. Camp

Love You

Learn to be comfortable with yourself.  The more comfortable you're with the person you see in the mirror the more of an asset you become to someone else.  The most attractive thing in the world is a woman that I need more than she needs me.   A woman's confidence and how she carries herself is important.  I know that sounds mad generic but through someone's actions its easy to sense their insecurities.  Think about how many times a day you hear somebody say they want a boo, or they need somebody new in their life, but as a individual they're a complete mess.  Build yourself before you look for validation from someone else, as an individual you have to want and expect more from the person in the mirror. We live in a society where people feel validated by relationships, the sense of false confidence that you feel from someone else isn't exactly healthy.  To keep it 100 you can't depend on something that may not always be there for you.  Although you can't enter a relationship thinking that person won't always be there for you, you have to come to the realization that ultimately you come first, if that person doesn't satisfy criteria for you to grow, you simply don't need them.  Nobody on this earth will be there for you, the way you have to be there for yourself; no matter what happens in life you will always be you, therefore you must always have your own back.  As growing individuals we tend to focus more so on the criteria and standards that we hold for the people we get involved with instead of holding ourselves to those standards.  You have to fix you before you can work on fixing someone else, and once you're confident in what're your growth.  I know I emphasized the hell out of the word you in in this post but that's who this post is for.   

Currently Jamming:  4 minutes of Hell x Lil Herb

Late Night Rambling

At some point in time things just start feeling right. You can't predict it, you can't plan for it, you can only work and hope that the moves you're making correlate to a higher purpose.  I've always found myself stressing, in retrospect that's how I work best.  If there's no pressure on me I'm least likely to perform, and that's why I hate comfort.  At 21 I know I haven't really accomplished shit.  I'm two semesters from graduating a prestigious school, I have a couple nice internships and a decent resume but, to get where I want to be Im having to fully understand I've accomplished nothing. My biggest motivator is realizing and reminding myself I'm not shit, because some time in the near future that won't be true. Although I'm not the most religious person, I believe in a higher power, and I believe that the higher power I believe in has me on the right path.  To simplify it I believe in the process.  By process and to quote Talib Kweli I'm living the "beautiful struggle".  The struggle is some of you're purest days because struggling drags that feeling of hunger out of you. Nobody likes to struggle but in order to shine you gotta grind, in order to eat you gotta work.  You just don't wake up and eat steak and lobster, you gotta eat Top Ramen first and chicken flavored to be exact.  I really plan on having a hand in changing multiple aspects of the career's that I want to pursuit.  I've never been the person who liked sitting on any bench, I want to get in games, I want to make All-Star teams, I want to hoist that MVP award.  My Grandpa told me when I was young, "whatever you do in life be the best at it," I take that to heart because I hate the shit out of losing.  .  I will say this at this point in my life the picture's getting clearer.  We all move at a different pace, but most of us strive for the finer things, the difference is we're not all willing to put in the work to obtain those things.  If I'm able to obtain my goals and stay true to who I am, that paints a picture for the future.  Dawg I gotta get it.

Currently Jammin:   In the Mornin' x UGK

True Beauty of a Woman

Beauty is truly within the eye of the beholder, and honestly that beholder is you.  We live in a society where people have tried to define beauty and tell us what beautiful looks like, when in actuality there's no standard of beauty and there are no limitations on what can be perceived as beautiful.  The whole idea that man can define beauty is impossible, and this is simply because beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and looks.  Every woman on this earth has been born with the tools to be beautiful on the inside and out, the person she sees when she first wakes up and looks in the mirror is love.  Kendrick Lamar echoes this in "Poetic Justice" when he spits the line "I mean you need to hear this, love is not just a verb its you looking in the mirror." Women must understand everything about them from their complexion, to their hair, to whatever God has blessed them with that makes up their differences as an individual is true beauty.  True beauty is not what you see on the cover of the magazine or on your TV screen, true beauty is the image that appears when you wake up in the morning and you understand that no matter what you're the most beautiful piece of art crafted on this earth. The confidence a woman has in herself is what makes her sexy, its not arrogant and it can't be measured by anybody else other than you.  I must admit the sexiest thing in the world is a woman that not only embraces her outer beauty, but one who's inner beauty radiates on the outside.  Any secure man could tell you how much we appreciate a woman who is confident in the tools she's been blessed with, because that confidence should never wane no matter the circumstance.  As we must do a better job at empowering our women, just make sure that first and foremost you empower yourself.

Currently Jamming Dirty Projectors- Stillness is the Move

My 10 Commandments

This is in no particular order but here's a list of 10 important commandments I follow.

10. Mind your business- You can't progress worrying about the next person, get money focus on you and yours.

9.  Find something to believe in- Everybody needs a set of guidelines and beliefs that guides them to where they want to be.  Find something.

8.  Believe in you- Nobody can do it but you, might as well believe you can achieve anything.

7.  Practice what you Preach- if you're going to say it, either you've done it or its about to happen backup the way you talk.

6.  Be loyal but don't be too loyal-Be loyal to those who you know would do the same for you, being down for everybody only gets you taken advantage of. Everybody is not your friend you can usually count your friends on your hands.

5.  Try things-  Routine things are boring, go out and experience life if it doesn't get you in a jail cell or dead see what its about so you can formulate your own opinion.

4.  Respect Yourself- I'm not going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.  Respect is earned not given

3.  Monogamy isn't real- Monogamy isn't real until there's a ring on somebodies finger, man go out and enjoy this one life you live. If you find something worth Monogamy then more power to you but we young outchea.

2.  Do your homework- Before you speak on something know what your talking about or leave it alone.

1.  Find your happiness- "Your life, Your happiness", can't please everybody, but you sure as hell can please yourself

Time

As a young black man I never really understood the value of time.  Time is our best friend, yet our greatest enemy because ultimately we have no idea how much time we have left to complete our personal agenda.   When it's our turn to go, its our turn to go there's no looking back and saying holdup, I'm not ready, when its your time there's nothing you can do, everything is in the hands of whoever your higher power may be.   2012 happened to be one of the better years of my life, because in 2012 I grew the most as a person. The trials and tribulations that have marked this past year, forced me to step up and the adversity this year presented made me stronger.  Ultimately I've had a lot of time to think and reflect on what's truly important and where I want to be personally. With that being said, tomorrow "Christmas Day" marks the one year anniversary of losing one of my brothers, Shane McCullough and I can tell you first hand death puts a whole new perspective to life. My bro Shane was one of the better people I've met in my life, he felt so much pain but never let people know it.  No matter what he was going through he never let people see him sweat, and could brighten up and change the mood in a room with one of his crazy stories.  Boy did he have stories man, some of the funniest "What the hell were you thinking" type stories I've ever heard.  His passing taught me a lot about myself and a lot about what's truly important in life.  Don't waste your life looking to be something your not, stay true to yourself  that's really what's most important.  We were all created as individuals and we all strive for something greater, its up to you to decide where your purpose truly lies. Our time here is short, so every day we can breathe, talk and see is a chance to strive for more and attack our goals. It is our obligation to make what you can out of YOUR life there are no excuses, and no shortcuts. My mother always taught me excuses were the tools of the incompetent and lord knows I wasn't raised to be incompetent.  Value the time you have here on Earth make the best out of it, be yourself and make decisions that don't sacrifice your integrity or what makes you, You. Remember you weren't born to impress anybody the only person your here to impress is yourself.  Love is looking in the mirror, find love in what you see.

PS:  To my brother Shane, I love you bro, each and every day I'm here I'm going to honor the pact we made .  Even though we won't be able to physically watch each other's personal success know that I promise to fulfill my side of the bargain.  We gon make it swon and I hope your enjoying being back with your Mom, continue to watch over me I got this.

10/21/91-12/25/11 R.I.P. Shane

Currently Jamming:  Dom Kennedy-She ain't in love

Positive Words

This is going to be a shorter blog post than most but I just wanted to share something with you guys.  At the end of the day value what you have, everybody struggles, everybody hurts, everybody goes through things.  No matter what it is keep fighting, keep living strong and remember it can always be worse. There is always somebody out there struggling just like you, pain is not exclusive and strength lives in each and every one of us.  Life isn't easy, but don't ever let life defeat you and don't ever let anybody tell you, you can't do something, only you can stop yourself man can't stop you.  Strive for more, never settle and love the person you see in the mirror.

Ps:  Spread love, and spread positive feelings.

Currently Jamming:  Chief Keef ft Young Jeezy-Understand Me

The BasedGod of Hip Hop

The world wasn't ready for the impact of the BasedGod, but Lil B is one of the most revolutionary artist in Hip-Hop today.  People can say whatever they want about the aforementioned Brandon McCartney affectionately known to his fans as Lil B the Based God, but one thing you can't call him is dumb.  Through the use of the Based/Cooking music Lil B has forever changed Hip-Hop spreading love through positive music, catchy beats, a creative dance that has become the most popular celebration in the NFL in the last year and a half; a lyrical style that has never been seen but, has been copied by a variety of other rappers such as Soulja Boy and Riff Raff and genius social media tactics. All these attributes have lead to Lil B having one of the more loyal followings in Hip-Hop, he is the undisputed king of Hip-Hop social networks, and his following is represented well through all forms of social media. Is his style unorthodox?  Hell Ya! Does he come out with tracks that make you question why anybody would consider him a good artist?  Debatable to each is own, but for every song you may consider a joke, he has a song with a real positive social message.  His outlook on life is remarkabale and spreading that knowledge in hip hop is not only a rarity but it's a gift that few artist have ever given hip-hop fans.  Here's a few songs you should check out to get a full fledged perspective on the positive energy and message Lil B brings: Based 4 ya face, I've Got Aids, Birth of Rap, Thank You Basedgod, Times Blue, this goes without mentioning both of his albums I'm Gay (I'm Happy) and Illusions of Grandeur.  Questioning Lil B's merit in Hip-Hop to me is ignorant,  if you do you most likely haven't checked out his catalog and really listened to some of the things he says in his music.  What he brings to the table is a lot more than some of his more popular songs like, Wonton Soup or the Grove St. Party remix, (which I have to say was an epic verse by the BasedGod)suggest.  But I have some questions for the non-believers, for one answer this, how many rappers have been asked to speak at NYU?(which I might add was a brilliant speech, I think everyone should listen to).....I'll wait. How many rappers have rapped over the same instrumental that was used as the theme for Oscar winning movie Titanic?.....again I'll wait.  BasedGod's influence on popular culture can be seen outside of  hip-hop and has even entered the sports world, and other social arenas.  His social versatilty and the many backgrounds his following comes from I believe attest to his living greatness, only biased opinion can make you too blind to see it but, he has forever made a social statement that will forever change Hip-Hop. I mean the man actually named his album I'm Gay, which challenges almost every social stigma tied into Hip-Hop that's brilliant and bold not to many people would take that risk.  If you go off work alone Lil B is the hardest working artist in hip-hop he once dropped a mixtape titled Free Music:  The Myspace Collection which features all the songs off of his 125 Myspace pages in total that's a mixtape with 676 songs on it (to be honest that's funny as hell) but what rapper can you name that has done that?  If you want to look into his credibility the BasedGod has made songs with Lil Wayne, 9th Wonder(in my opinion one of the top 4 greatest producer to ever live), Phonte from Little Brother has been cosigned by Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Raekwon, and even Jay Electronica has said he wants to collab with Lil B in the future.  Are those cosigns from non-credible people in hip-hop? For the third time... I'll wait.  Lil B's marketing ploy is bigger than most could even fathom, the man is a genius and with an ever growing loyal fan base; whether you like it or not, there will always be a seat for Lil B at the hip-hop round table.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRryyRFXqbc

Frank Ocean

Music is an umbrella of expression, this metaphorical umbrella has been used to harness an art form that has nurtured so many different schools of thought, while allowing different cultures to mesh and coexist through the relation of song.  With the multitude of genre's music presents, different ideas and forms of expression have been able to spread to the masses. These ideas and expressions have a lasting impact on society because in one way or another, no matter the differences we share everyone can relate through the expression of music.  I'm not an artist so in actuality I haven't been able to express myself through my own music, but I've been able to relate to how artist express themselves, while also being able to apply the wisdom used in many songs to my own views on life's situations.  In my opinion music is sanity, and without music the world would be a much crazier and more confused place than it already is, so in essence I view music as not only a healing of a nation but the healing of the world.  I may seem like I'm rambling so let me get to the point. One lesson music has taught me is to accept people's differences. I've learned not to judge people on their personal lifestyles but to accept an artist for whom they are and judge them by the body of work they put out. I find it important to understand that even though we may share some differences on the surface, through music we all can relate.  I'll use the recent coming out of R&B singer Frank Ocean, who a couple weeks ago announced his bisexuality through a post on his Tumblr page as an example.  When I was younger and immature I might have focused on his sexual orientation and used that as a base to write off his music, but as a 20 year old man I see things differently, the veil of ignorance that once clouded my judgment has been lifted.  As a musical artist he is not defined by his personal choices but by the quality of his music and the messages that his music displays. I may not agree with his lifestyle or practice a similar lifestyle but who am I to judge, I am not God and only God can judge us. With that being said personally I think Frank Ocean is a musical genius, a man who makes beautiful music and tells stories of love and life that can translate to anybody, it just so happens in his personal life he is bisexual. That hint of his personal life has no real connection or affect to the personal lives of anyone else but him, so why should it matter. Through music Frank Ocean spreads his soul, and his soulful sound and creative lyrics are in my opinion second to no one in  any category of music you may try to place him in during this musical time period.  Even though that's a rather broad, bold statement, his music does not fit into a category or genre so for me to even call him an R&B artist is a stretch because his style incorporates influences from several different genres of music. To simplify it, you just can't fit Frank's music in a box.  I've already ran this blog long so I'll finish by saying this, ignorance allows us to judge somebody off of things that make no difference in our personal lives.  Personally Frank Ocean's sexual orientation has no affect on me or how I live my life however, his music serves a purpose in something I believe in and I salute him for not being afraid to be himself.  


Currently Jamming:  Chief Keef ft. Fat Trel x Russian Roulette 


<object width="420" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cGMDbu7IHWs?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cGMDbu7IHWs?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

Born to Win Built to Succeed

"No matter what, there is no excuse for letting your past dictate your future."  I honestly can't give one example of where this statement doesn't apply.  In life you make mistakes; that's all apart of the process of growing up, what happens in the past stays in the past, the goal is to learn from your mishaps and move on. My pops once told me, "The only thing you can't fix is death, everything else in life you can overcome and make positive."  Those words will forever stick with me, because that's what I believe life is all about:  being able to live, make mistakes, learn and then using adverse situations as added motivation to succeed.  Letting your past affect you  negatively is choosing to lose, and we were all born to win, so why inflict added injury on something you can't change.  Adversity is a part of life, bad decisions are a part of life, regret however is not, life is way too short for regret and everything you go through ultimately helps shape you into the person you become.  Even though this may be taken for granted, the ultimate gift is being able to see another day, another day of life is a clean slate, and an opportunity to be better.  The value of making every other day equally as good or better than your last has no price on it,  its a gift.  With that being said enjoy and love the life you live because at any moment it can be taken away from you, make mistakes don't let mistakes make you.

Currently Jamming:  Black Faces x Childish Gambino ft. Nipsey Hussle 

PS:  Shane you helped me see life differently, the world lost you before it was ready to but at the same time I know it was your time to join your mom up in the sky with the big guy.  I'll never forget all of the memories we made in such little time and I was listening to Kid Cudi Mr. Rager the other day and I swear on everything I love you were in the car telling the story of the song, that song was made to explain you.  Death isn't a fun thing but accepting that its apart of life allows all of us to grow.  Thank you for being a part of my family gone but never forgotten can't wait to see you in Heaven bro I love you.

Love,

Uncle Rob

The State of Hip Hop

Hip-Hop is love.  Today's generation has allowed many different influences and styles to infiltrate the sacred world of hip-hop.  Even though, people like to complain about how hip-hop isn't what it was in the 90's or whatever their case may be, I believe the music is flourishing. We have artist that range from Future to Mac Miller, Tyler the Creator to Chief Keef, Lil B to Kendrick Lamar, in what generation did we have that many abstract artist all flourishing under one genre? If you can't answer this question I understand why, because you can't think of one, and most of us reading this have only focused on two generations of music.  The versatility in the game right now is crazy, and its beautiful thing.  What really gets me though, is when people say if Big and Pac were alive they wouldn't let hip-hop be like this, I have three questions for that.  Did Big and Pac tell you that?  How do you know what they would co-sign? They wouldn't want hip-hop to reach a successful state?  Feel free to post your answer in the comment box, but let's really get real. The hip-hop today has produced Forbes list moguls like Diddy, Jay-Z, 50 cent and Birdman, these guys have set the bar high for young, black entrepreneurs, and have given hip-hop serious staying power.  Yes there's crap in hip-hop that even I don't agree with, especially the basic anthem of Snapbacks and Tattoos, and whatever new unmotivated garbage Wayne and the rest of YMCMB with the exclusion of Drake decides to drop each week, but damn we have so many artist to listen to that bring so many different things to the table, just sit back and salute the movement.  If you listen to hip-hop you can't honestly say the culture hasn't influenced you, the culture has been a part of every fans growth and the messages inside lyrics, the beats, the way artist dress, the whole persona of the music is influential in itself.  Other than the redundancy of the radio, and its refusal to play a multitude of different artist I honestly have no beef with hip-hop.  Of course there's artist in the game I could do without but, artist I may disagree with musically, you may love. At the end of the day embrace the movement and salute the cause because Hip-hop saves lives.  I have advice for the incoming crop of rappers, dare to be different and don't let the money influence your personal view of good music.

PS:  Shoutout my bros Rack$et, Brian Cade and his Love City movement, Cam Major, Cyro Haze and their Fast Life movement, Jay Keys and the Gin Boyz movement and all the rest of the young dudes who got next.  Check out these boys music because I promise you, you will know their name.

Currently Jamming:  Shoot em Down x Johnny May Cash

O ya and my top 15 artist right now in no particular order:  Drake, Boosie, Kendrick Lamar, Lil B, Future, Gucci Mane, A$ap Rocky, Meek Mill, Cheif Keef, J. Cole, Rick Ross, Nipsey Hussle, Dom Kennedy, Kanye West and Curren$y

Ready or Not

I had a talk with one of my bro's Bigtuck.com (yes I'm going to refer to him in this post the same way I do in real life) the other day about women and how we always end up liking girls that we know are bad for us.  He said one thing to me that I'll probably never forget.  "You can't help who you're attracted to, you can't help who you like, but when you truly mature you'll be able to sacrifice what you want for what you need."  The crazy thing about this statement is its 100% true.  Whether you're a male or a female, most of us can relate to the fact that we tend to show extra attention to those we really don't need in our lives. For some strange reason those we desire, tend to have less desirable traits that we don't take heed of until it's possibly too late. I can tell you straight up I give more attention to a girl I have no business giving a minute too, then a girl I need in my life and honestly I haven't matured to the point where I can make that switch for good yet. Since I'm speaking on the subject I might as well be honest, but let me get to the meat and potatoes.  A mature person looks out for what brings them the most happiness, they look for longevity in their relationships and in order to achieve total happiness and longevity with a person, they must have qualities that enhance your being.  Wanting someone only fulfills certain needs, they might seem good for the moment, but in the long run it could bring you more strain.  When you need someone, you're open to correct some of your flaws, while they take the time to embrace your flaws. That person ultimately makes you better.  Everyone has room to grow and become more complete, the real question is at what stage of your life are you ready to sacrifice?


Currently Jamming:  Turn it up x Rack$et

Stay Scheming?

I've learned that most everybody schemes.  Scheming is a pure defense mechanism, so let me break it down to you.  Scheming is the act of finding a way to get over on somebody without causing yourself any repercussions or emotional harm.  The act of scheming causes one to act without the regards of the other parties feelings.  Usually the act of scheming results in a slight gain for the schemer, followed by a visit from somebody, called Karma. We live in a society that's dog eat dog and rather cutthroat. There's just no way around it and honestly I really don't blame people for scheming; people must protect themselves right? I wrestle with this because in essence I wouldn't want my feelings to be played with, but to get what you want you may sometime have to play with somebody else's feelings, that's just real life.  Scheming isn't always negative though. You can scheme without hurting someone else, but those who use the mechanism for negative purposes on a consistent basis are those who have been hurt many times over.  This means that scheming really can be a counter act to deflect mental pain, hence the thoughts why hurt alone? Scheming allows one to think ahead and attack a person's mind without the other person seeing it coming, this is a mental game that plays on what every person has....Emotions.   Most people are afraid of their emotions and I don't blame them, emotions are a relatively scary thing, so we shield ourselves from allowing people to see we have them, and in turn some of us choose to take advantage of others emotions.  I can't give advice on this topic, and honestly I have no proper answer on how to avoid scheming because in essence there is no right answer.  However, I can leave you with this, feel out your situation and act as a good judge of character it may save you.

Currently Jamming:  Gucci Mane ft Jim Jones x Kansas

Crazy Women I choose them

All women are crazy.  I'm playing, but a lot of ya'll are forreal and I don't know what it is about the craziness in women that I love, but on everything I love, I got a thing for crazy women.  I mean I look at myself in the mirror everyday, and honestly I think I'm crazy: the things that go on in my mind, my thought process, my whole persona I wouldn't deem normal, and I can't help it I really love it.  But enough about me. Crazy women are interesting, their mind thinks on a different page, that page is beautiful.  You're craziness may be a result of damage caused by the dudes in the past, or circumstances you've been through, or you just may be crazy, but real talk, I'ma embrace it, and I wouldn't change you. Your craziness is sexy and the fact that you embrace it enough to let it out is intriguing.  I think a lot of women are crazy because they wanna know and be reminded that a dude cares, so they'll take you the extra mile just to find out how much you can endure. A lot of dudes say they don't like crazy women and it's because a crazy woman will keep you on your toes, a crazy woman will stimulate your mind because in order for a crazy woman to flourish, you must allow her to be herself and you must find a way to help her manage that crazy.  9 times out of 10, if I have the option of who I'm going to invest my time in, I'll invest my time in the crazy woman more so than the normal/simplistic woman. The reason why is simple, I don't really mess with that horoscope stuff to seriously but as an Aries I love challenges.   It may not be the healthiest decision, but lord knows you can't help what your attracted to, I get it from my father honestly.  All I gotta say to end this is be you mama, if it ain't killing anybody don't change for anybody, Be Crazy.

Vulnerability

I'm terrified of being vulnerable. Vulnerability is a key feeling, because in order for you to open up and start something new with somebody you must allow your guard to come down and sacrifice your vulnerability. I tend to bury things that bother me into a box that only few people have the key to.  Not even all of my closest friends have the key to it, and it may have an affect on certain relationships but its the way I'd rather keep things.  I hate being hurt and I'm sure everybody does but coming from a personal standpoint I'd rather bury the things that bother me and ignore them. Everybody has a past, and everybody has things in their past they may not be proud of but honestly instead of giving another person a key to reopen my box, I'd rather talk about the future. In Robby's mind today and tomorrow are the only things that matter. The past opens up issues that only I can correct, I can't look back and sit on them, because I feel to do so would be to regress.  In all honesty, I'm really unsure if this is the right way to think but it works for me, and even though this may seem unhealthy I prefer to keep it this way.  Maybe it's my pride factor. In essence I could care less what people really think about me but at the same time, I don't want a distorted image of myself that my past may project.  I'm happy with life and I've put myself in position to continue my personal happiness, there's just one thing missing......


Currently Jamming: Kendrick Lamar x Wanna be Heard

If It Helps

Dealing with my recent struggles I feel like I'm at a crossroads with myself. Throughout my life I've been my own worst enemy, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I'ma realist.  There's only one person that can derail me from my dreams and that's myself, and in some ways I've done a good job at slowing down my path to success.  Through recent soul searching I've realized I really have two options; Turn up and grind through these hardships because there's a light at the end of the tunnel or let all that's bothering me slow me down.  Life is hard man, real talk it can seem like a constant struggle, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that.  But word is bond this life is a blessing, keeping faith in whatever you choose to believe in is important to weathering the storm of lows life throws at you. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I truly believe that a higher power has something special planned for me, and that all my struggles are a test that I either choose to prepare for to overcome or fail. This life really is about choices, because each decision you make has a impact on your life and no choice is bigger than the other in terms of getting to where you want to be. I'ma cut it short and end it with this, because at the moment I feel like I can go on forever.  Don't let your struggles deter you from you're hustle and keep fighting, no matter what keep fighting.

Currently Jamming:  Jose Guapo-Burn Slow

Wisdom for Readers

I wanted to update really quick because it's been awhile since I have.  I've got a lot of new things in the making, so be on the lookout for moves coming in the summer. You better believe I'll be on top of my game, FFB eating season is in full effect.  I really just wanted to post to remind my readers that every day you make choices and in the process of decision making you must accept and live with the consequences of your decisions.  Life is too short to complain and worry about past transgressions. One must understand that God only puts you through what he feels you can handle, so letting a situation affect you only brings you unwarranted stress. Pain is not exclusive, you must realize that we all go through things, the most important thing is how you attack personal issues, will you cower down or will you boss up and continue to handle business; the importance of that is key.  Lastly, I want to leave you with this life is precious every day you are allowed to wake up walk, talk, eat, see etc. is a gift, tomorrow is never promised,  so while you're here make an impact.

Currently Jamming: Chief Keef-3hunna

Effort=Results

Pops always told me, "You only get out of life, what you put into it."  I never understood the meaning of this, but I feel as if now I can explain it, so here I go. If you want something physically, socially, financially, mentally etc. you have to strive for it.  There is no half way, no 50%, hell there's not even a 75%, if it’s truly important to you 110% has to go into it.  We find ourselves making excuses for why things are the way they are, why we haven't gotten something yet, why we see others doing things we want to do and I know, personally I've been guilty of entitlement syndrome and instead of going out and getting I've watched others do and wondered, why not me! Honestly, you’re only entitled to two things, the ability to live and the ability to create your own destiny. If you want something you have to put in the effort to achieve, if you want change you have to get out of your comfort zone and seek such.  Put your all into this thing we call life, you only get one, and regrets are for losers. Enjoy life and reach your personal level of success, you define you.  I'll leave you with this don't wonder why, go get! 

Currently Jamming:  John Mayer-Daughters 

You Love You

Love you!! You're the only one that controls your happiness.  No one can ever tell you your worth, or who you are because only you can define that.  To love thyself does not mean to be arrogant or cocky, but to understand your value and be confident in the image that you've been blessed with.  God created us in our own perfect way, in which even our imperfections are beautiful.  One must understand there will always be rainy days, because in order for the grass to grow their must be rain.  This meaning in order for us to grow as individuals we may have to endure some type of struggle. Do not let your struggle define you!!, allow it to be a part of you, but do not let it define your sense of being and no matter what struggles we go through we must understand that God doesn't put us through anything we can't handle.  It is imperative that we understand, even at our lowest point we are still beautiful.  This may seem a little sappy, but honestly we were all created beautiful in one way or the other.  There's a cliché saying that goes "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and being the person in charge of your happiness you must understand no matter the weather you still shine.  

Currently Jamming:  Drake-Where to Now